ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
