i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize