My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
