We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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