i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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