yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
