Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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