Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
