doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
