gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
