So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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