One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
