"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
