mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
