I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
