All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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