Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I will be naked everywhere
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
