scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
