how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
