If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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