Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
