and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
