oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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