I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
