4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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