awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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