I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
