she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
