You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
me + whiskey = a bad person
you made out with another girl for some wings
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
