when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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