i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
