I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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