uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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