Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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