I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
do herpes really smell.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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