Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
