i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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