Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.