i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
