TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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