At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
