Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
