Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
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Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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