a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
