I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
