I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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