Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
