Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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