Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
