Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
dude. I can hear the air.
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