I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
