Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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(936): View more from Texas

So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward

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(314): View more from Missouri

I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.

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(716): View more from New York

i think that dennys waitress has my boxers

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(732): View more from New Jersey

thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on

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(517): View more from Michigan

Here's my first problem: I'm drunk

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(406): View more from Montana

I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.

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(770): View more from Georgia

You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.

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