He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
