sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
