why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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