you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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