Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize