is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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