i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You took a bar mat shot.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
