We're facebook friends in real life
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
