? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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