I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
