i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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