It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize