before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You can't motorboat a personality
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
